Ida and LeeAnn

On November 16, 2012, I was finishing up a day at work when I received a screening email.  There was a two week old baby girl and the mother was considering adoption.  The mother, LeeAnn, had named the baby Ida (okay, fake names this time around) and wanted her to keep that name.  She wanted to be able to meet the potential adoptive parents and see their home.

After Rob and I called and talked to the agency to clear up a few questions (mainly, "Is LeeAnn nice and pleasant to be around?") we decided we would definitely like to be considered.  We let the agency know and went to bed.

The next morning (Saturday) we received a call around 10:30 am saying that LeeAnn had been presented with eight families and that she had zoned in on our materials right away.  We had some scrapbook elements on our collage pages that were meaningful to her, she liked how our house looked neat and clean, she thought we looked happy and fun, and she liked how educated we were.  She wanted to meet that day.  Rob scrambled to get his work done and get coverage for the later part of his shift, and then we went to the agency to meet LeeAnn.

Normally at these initial meetings, there's no baby involved.  It's rare to have a baby placed at two weeks old.  However, LeeAnn wanted to bring both her mom and her dad to the meeting and that didn't leave anyone to take care of Ida.  So, the whole family, including Ida, came to the meeting.

We spent about two hours at the agency office with LeeAnn kind of firing questions at us.  You could tell she really wanted to make a good decision about her baby and wanted to feel like she had a good grasp of who we were and whether we'd be a good fit.  After that initial meeting, it was decided we would all go to our house so that LeeAnn could see it - it was really important to her to be able to see the home where the baby would live.

It was really strange and nerve-racking  to show LeeAnn and her family around.  Rob and I love our home, but when you put it up against other people in the waiting parent pool, I am sure it seems very small.  We are pretty careful with our financial planning, and one of the decisions we made was to start off with a smaller, very affordable home.  The plan is to pay it off within 15 years and then use it as a rental while moving someplace bigger or even just stay living in it and get a bigger vacation home maybe on Whidbey Island.  Those plans all sound great to us, but when someone is walking around your house assessing whether or not it is good enough for their baby, it's really hard to feel like our little home is good enough!

At the end of the home visit, LeeAnn asked me to hold Ida, which I had not yet done.  She wanted to see if Ida would like me.  Now, keep in mind that Ida was just over two weeks old.  She doesn't really like much outside of some yummy milk, a dry diaper, and some sweet cuddles yet!  It was scary to take her into my arms and I kept thinking, "Just don't cry!!  Don't cry!"  She didn't cry.

On Sunday and Monday the agency was in contact to tell us that LeeAnn had gone home Saturday excited about us as parents for Ida and liking our home, but ultimately woke up on Sunday morning and decided she didn't want to make an adoption plan.  She wanted to parent.  There was still some ambivalence and back-and-forth going on, but we were pretty sure it wasn't going to work out, so I headed off to work on Monday.

On Tuesday, around lunchtime, the agency counselor called again.  LeeAnn had changed her mind again, had signed the relinquishment, and we needed to go to her neighborhood to pick up Ida that afternoon.  We were thrilled!  We ran out to get a car seat, called my office to let them know what was going on, and headed to LeeAnn's neighborhood.  When we got there, they weren't quite ready for us, so we sat in the parking lot of a Ross Dress for Less while waiting for the call to go pick up the baby.

Hours passed, but we finally received the call around 6:00 pm.  We needed to go to a nearby Chinese restaurant to meet up with everyone and that is where we would pick up Ida.